The Morning After
by JumpersAndKittens
Summary: 'The first thing Noah noticed when he woke up was the sound of the rain pounding against the window.' Noah/Cody. Warning: language, boy/boy, alludes to sex, overly-dramatic scenes and god-awful writing.


The first thing Noah noticed when he woke up was the sound of the rain pounding against the window. It was surprisingly loud, considering, but it was a relaxing sound. For several minutes, at least, he simply lay in bed, listening to the sound of the water hitting the glass in the windows and the brick walls of the house, taking comfort in the fact that it was outside: it couldn't get him. He didn't want to get up or open his eyes yet: he was just so comfortable, lying there with the boy in his arms, Cody.

_Cody_. Noah started, his eyes flying open, as if he'd only just realised the smaller boy was there. He had his arms wrapped around Noah's waist, his face burrowed into the side of Noah's neck, his mousy-brown hair covering his eyes. His lips were slightly parted, just showing his gapped teeth, his eyes closed blissfully as he took deep, steady breaths. For a moment, Noah was entranced, before the enormity of last night sunk in.

"Holy shit," he muttered numbly, his breath catching in his throat. He gently prised himself from Cody's grip, making sure not to wake him, before leaping out of the bed and backing away until he touched the windowsill. "Holy…" He covered his face with his hands, looking at Cody through parted fingers with an expression between shock and disgust. Of course, he adored Cody – what was there not to love about the adorable little geek? – he just hadn't expected to wake up in bed half-naked next to him. Then his eyes wandered the room, taking in the large fireplace and cupboards set into the wall on either side. He didn't recognise it at all. He'd woken up next to Cody, in Cody's bed in Cody's room in Cody's house? Great. He looked down at himself, clad only in a pair of boxers. Thank god he'd had the presence of mind before he'd fallen asleep to protect his dignity from further damage. He turned to the windows and drew the curtains, looking out at the bleak, grey weather outside. Droplets of rain hit and bounced off the ground, and there were deep puddles all over the driveway and road. The rain he'd previously found calming now seemed suffocating and enclosing as he wondered what to do.

He didn't just want to leave – that'd be rude and besides, who knew who else was in the house? – but he certainly didn't want to stay there. His eyes went to the floor, where his trusty jeans lay strewn across the expanse of beige, Cody's combats alarmingly close. He went to pick them up, a look of disgust on his face as he shook out the creases. How had he allowed himself to get to this stage? He slipped them on, fastening the belt on them so it was just a little bit too loose, like always, and searched for his shirt. When he found Cody's hanging off the bed post, he had to suppress a shudder. That was _his_ doing. _He'd_ done that. Tossed it aside as if one night was more important than good housekeeping. He could scarcely believe he was capable of it, and yet here was the evidence. He found his shirt kicked almost entirely under the bed, much to his horror. It was creased beyond repair without an iron, having been abandoned in a ball on the floor all night by the pair. He held it up, looking at it for a moment before putting it on: he was stressed enough already – he didn't need to worry about this on top of everything else.

"Shit," he muttered again, pacing the room restlessly. What should he do? He couldn't leave, but he certainly didn't want to stay. They'd have to talk about it, but he really wasn't in the mood for talking. Then Cody stirred, causing Noah to freeze. The pale boy made a small noise, quiet and content, as he turned over onto his side, his back facing Noah. The dark-haired boy bit his lip gently, his eyes following the dip from Cody's hip to waist, the curve from his neck to shoulder. Then he shook himself, snapping out of his daydream. He could _remember_ things from last night. Like how Cody had pulled off Noah's shirt first, and he'd retaliated by undoing the buttons on the smaller boy's trousers. How hungry Cody's touch had felt, and how desperate his kisses were. How much they'd both wanted it, and how obvious it was that they'd both wanted this for a long time.

They'd needed each other last night, but now it was morning and feelings were being revoked. Again, Cody stirred, making Noah sigh. He had to sort this out. He went from the window to the side of the bed.

"Cody," he hissed, shaking the smaller boy gently.

Cody's eyes opened slowly, and he looked at Noah. "Hey," he said, smiling. Then, seeing the younger boy's grave expression, his smile faded. "What's up?" he asked, his brow furrowing.

"Get dressed. We have to talk," Noah said shortly, folding his arms.

"O-okay," he said, frowning slightly. "What's wrong?" Noah just shook his head, so the mousy-haired boy got out of bed and stretched as Noah crossed the room to stand by the window again, leaning against the windowsill. After about half a minute of quiet grunting from Cody, he said, "I'm done. You can look."

Noah turned to look at him. His clothes were too big on him, making him look much younger than he was. Noah frowned at the image – he could barely believe that this boy was older than him.

"What's wrong?" Cody asked, looking a little worried.

"I'm not going to beat around the bush," he sighed. "Cody, you're my best friend. You know that, right?" Cody nodded, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. He looked as though he knew where this was going. "I've liked you since we were at Camp Wawanakwa," Noah admitted. "But you probably knew that already." Again, Cody nodded, looking shame-faced. "But… We crossed a line. We shouldn't have done that. Because I can't see us ever going back to just being friends."

Cody looked at him with wide, hurt eyes, looking pained and confused. "But I don't want to go back to being friends," he said. "Why would we? After last night, I thought we'd be closer than that."

Noah sighed. "Cody, it's not that simple," he explained. "I can't just… We can't just go out."

"Why not?" Cody asked, gnawing on his pale lip.

"Because… Of reasons. For one, your parents would disapprove. Then there's Gwen, the distance-"

"Wait. What do you mean, Gwen?" the smaller boy asked, looking at Noah in confusion.

Noah looked down. "Everybody knows you're in love with her. It's not exactly a secret," he replied bitterly.

Cody frowned. "I don't… I don't love her," he mumbled. "I just like her. A lot."

"Exactly," the dark-haired boy said. "So what does that make this? Make us?"

"I don't know," the other admitted, looking remorseful. "I'm sorry, Noah. I've screwed it all up, haven't I?"

"It wasn't just you," Noah said quickly. "Don't think that. It's me. I liked you first, I walked you home last night. Don't act like it's your fault, because it isn't – I promise."

These words offered Cody little comfort. "But what now? Because I can't forget this. I won't. But…" He took Noah's hand, making the taller boy flinch. Cody didn't let go. "I don't want to lose you. You're my best friend – I _can't_ lose you."

Much to Noah's horror, he felt tears pricking at his eyes. "I don't want it either," he replied. "But we have to go one way or another. And frankly, I don't see us becoming an item."

Cody sniffed and rubbed his eyes furiously. "I can't lose you again," he breathed, hugging Noah tightly. He was thinking back to, of course, Noah being voted out in both Total Drama Island and World Tour. It wasn't so bad when the former happened – they were friends but not exactly 'besties', and besides, Noah had pissed everybody off the day before. But in World Tour, they were just starting to become close again before he had to go.

He hugged the smaller boy back, whispering, "I'm sorry. But we can't go back to how we were."

"Are you sure?" Cody asked desperately, tangling his fingers into the material of Noah's shirt. He knew he was contradicting himself, but he didn't care. Anything to make Noah stay. "Are you absolutely sure? Because if there was even a slightest-"

"Cody," Noah cut him off gently. "You know we can't."

"But – but we can try, right? We don't have to talk about it. We can pretend it never-"

"Cody," Noah interrupted him again, this time an edge to his voice. "Please, don't. Don't make this worse by planting hope. I – I love you. But you can't love me back, I get it. Please don't make this worse for me."

Cody bit his lip and hugged Noah tighter. "Does it have to end now?" he asked.

Noah looked at him strangely. "What do you mean?"

"Can't we just…" He pulled back and pressed his lips to Noah's, desperately searching for a reaction. He found one, but not the one he'd hoped for.

Noah pushed Cody away gently but firmly. "No," he said. "Don't. It's like pulling off a plaster. The quicker you do it, the less it hurts."

"Nothing will make this not hurt. Nothing will make this okay again," Cody muttered, taking Noah's face in his small hands. "You're my best friend, and now I have to act like I don't know you. This will be the hardest thing I ever have to do."

Noah sighed and hugged him again, feeling his thin frame through his baggy clothes.

Cody was exaggerating – he'd get over this eventually. Give it a few months and he'd be chasing after girls – or, rather, Gwen – again as though nothing had happened. But Noah knew that this really would be the hardest thing he'd ever have to do.

* * *

**A/N**

Eh. It's overly angsty, but I like it. I'm still not sure if it's perfect, but it'll do for now. This took me about four days to write and two or three weeks to edit to my satisfaction (but I wrote it a month or two ago).

As always, I'd love any constructive criticism or reviews - I'm always looking to improve.

Rhi


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